Communication Isn’t Optional: A Self-Audit for Influence
Why getting to know yourself first is the most powerful tool of influence
What I’ve covered before:
The audit is futher down this post.
The more I write about how we show up online and the habits we create there, the more convinced I am that communication is not a soft skill anymore. It has become one of the most powerful forces shaping our shared world.
In my earlier pieces on citizen journalism (read here) and the importance of pausing before we post, I argued that all of us hold more influence than we often realise. Today, I want to take that idea further because our words carry weight far beyond the moment we speak or type them.
We are living in a time that feels both exciting and unsettling. The world is shifting in ways that often feel hard to predict. In moments like these, communication becomes a stabilising force. It helps create clarity when confusion is everywhere. It reduces fear by naming what is real. It helps teams, families, and communities move forward when everything else feels shaky.
I have felt this personally. There have been times when a conversation changed the direction of a project. Moments when a thoughtful message brought a team back into alignment. Times when someone needed calm and clear communication more than anything else. These experiences taught me that communication is not decoration, it is essential. It directs focus, builds confidence, and steadies people when conditions feel unpredictable.
This is why communication can no longer be treated as optional. Every message we send has the potential to influence how someone feels, thinks, or acts. This is true in the workplace and just as true online. In a world where citizen journalism shapes narratives and one impulsive post can travel across thousands of screens, the quality of our communication matters more than ever.
Even in my background in recruitment, I spent countless hours on the phone with candidates, assessing their character and how they might handle complex situations that could affect their future team. I have a strong conviction that if you work in a position of power and influence, your actions can seriously damage businesses and people’s well-being. Many of these people have families who feel the ripple effects of workplace stress at home. For me, that is a line I cannot cross having experienced generational trauma myself.
🔹 Influence Can Build or Destroy
Before giving examples, it helps to define what we mean by power vs. influence:
Power is the ability to make things happen through formal authority, position, or force. It can command action, but often at the cost of trust or long-term buy-in.
Influence is the ability to guide, motivate, or persuade others through relationships, expertise, or credibility. It fosters respect, commitment, and sustainable impact.
Influence itself is neutral. It can be used to unify and inspire, or to manipulate and control. History gives us stark examples.
Negative influence: Adolf Hitler’s speeches and propaganda were designed to tap into fear and resentment. Through orchestrated rallies, radio broadcasts, and visual propaganda, he mobilised millions to follow ideas rooted in hatred and division. Today, we still see similar tactics in political polarisation and online fear campaigns.
Positive influence: Nelson Mandela used careful, purposeful communication to guide South Africa from deep division to shared commitment. His words restored trust, inspired hope, and helped people see a path forward together.
These examples show that influence is not about volume or authority, it is about intention, trust, and alignment with a shared purpose.
🔹 Get to Know Yourself First
Before you can communicate with impact, you need to understand yourself, your tendencies, your beliefs, and your blind spots.
Here is a quick interactive self-audit to explore who you are. Answer honestly and see what patterns emerge.
🟦 1. Personality and Traits
Take a personality test such as MBTI, Enneagram, or the Big Five. What feels right?
List 5 to 10 words that describe you. Ask 2 to 3 friends for their words.
How do these traits show up in daily life?
💡 Notice where your traits help or hold you back. Be honest with yourself, it’s usually never exactly how you see yourself.
🟩 2. Beliefs and Values
Write your top 5 to 10 beliefs about life, success, and relationships.
Why do you believe each one? Are they truly yours?
Could any beliefs be limiting you? Do you have a purpose?
What are your top 3-5 values? If you don’t know them, here’s a test you can try!
💡 Circle beliefs you might want to explore further. Ask yourself constantly, why do you believe what you believe. The more you chip away at this, the more you start to see some programmed beliefs that need some work.
🟨 3. Biases and Blind Spots
Who or what do you judge automatically? Here is the Harvard Implicit Biases Test
Do you focus more on negatives or positives?
What patterns do you notice in your online habits and the content you seek?
💡 Awareness is the first step to breaking bias.
🟧 4. Upbringing and Environment
How did your family or culture shape your values?
Which beliefs have you kept and which have you questioned?
How do friends, colleagues, and your community influence you? Are they mostly positive or negative individuals and do they make you energised or drained?
💡 Reflect on the influences you want to keep versus those you might leave behind.
🟪 5. Mindset and Emotions
Track your emotions for a week. Do you notice a pattern of optimism, worry, or something in between?
Note recurring thoughts: supportive, critical, or self-sabotaging.
How do you handle challenges? Avoid, confront, or adapt?
💡 Journaling daily can make these patterns more visible. Once visible, ask yourself how you want to be remembered.
🟫 6. Relationships and Social Lens
List your closest people and what they value. How do they shape you?
Reflect on recent conflicts. Were your reactions influenced by habit, fear, or assumptions?
💡 Consider which relationships lift you up and which drain you.
⬜ 7. Reflection and Growth
Ask yourself:
Who am I when no one is watching?
Which beliefs are mine to keep and which could I revisit?
Where do I want to grow emotionally, mentally, or spiritually?
Self-awareness is not a destination. It is a process. This audit is a tool to help you see yourself more clearly and live intentionally.
How to Use This Interactive Audit
Spend a few minutes on each section over a week.
Journal your answers. Revisit every few months.
Look for patterns, surprises, and insights.
💡 Even small daily reflection can transform the way you communicate and influence others.
Knowing yourself is the first step to communicating with clarity and influencing positively. Your words matter more than you think. Make them count.
Like this article and happy to read it!
Communication is extremely important and it’s like a highway- is flowing on both sides of the road.
I had experienced leaders who guided with authority and communication wasn’t on the first place, but delivering their messages with some obligation to execute. In this way the communication is flowing only in one direction.
True leader is aware of the fact that is serving others and not himself/herself. And when you realize that the word is not circulating only around you, then you can begin to develop yourself and then others.